I’ve been meaning to talk about this scene for a while now, because this episode really sheds some light onto Roy’s entire relationship with Riza, and it also says a lot about his love life in general.
Angst makes up a big part of Roy’s character — and that angst is very well justified. He’s only in his early twenties and he’s already participated in mass genocide — killed hundreds of innocent people all on his own.
And we all know that Roy is someone who doesn’t hesitate to pin all the blame and responsibility on himself if he can.
He’s not like Hughes. He can’t cast aside what he’s done just to make a woman happy.
Because how could he even deserve to be happy, to bring someone else joy, and to fall in love after rightfully gaining the title of “Hero of Ishval”?
He is, quite simply, a monster in his own eyes.
And how could it be fair to even touch a woman who didn’t understand exactly what he’d done — what he’s capable of doing?
He couldn’t bear to love and be loved by someone who didn’t know all of that — to be touching her with blood stained hands, and all the while, her not knowing what it really means to be a killer.
Who knows what she’d do if she did know? Recoil at the very sight of him? Cower at his touch? He certainly thinks he deserves as much.
So Roy definitely doesn’t go looking for a relationship once he’s out of the war. He doesn’t date. He doesn’t think of marriage, or kids, or starting a family.
But Roy does fall in love — and with the only person it could ever really work out with.
Roy and Riza are in the same boat, and they have a very similar way of thinking. Like Roy, Riza doesn’t think she deserves much good after what she’s done. Like him, she’s been praised as a hero — for something she’s horribly ashamed of. She’s also killed far more than she can count, and she knows what it means to be a monster.
She is the only one who — when Roy touches her — understands the weight of what that means. She knows what he’s capable of because she’s seen it and experienced it firsthand as well.
She’s seen him at his worst, and he’s seen her at hers.
There’s a level of understanding in their relationship that could never be found elsewhere.
And there’s just no one else who could accept them so completely — no one else they could fall in love with but each other.